


Darcy's Coffee Klatch

by FeyMeggan



Series: Sophie 'Verse [5]
Category: The Avengers (2012), White Collar
Genre: Darcy has bad ideas, F/M, Gen, M/M, Tony is just jealous, except this is brilliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-14
Updated: 2013-01-14
Packaged: 2017-11-25 11:11:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/638275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeyMeggan/pseuds/FeyMeggan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some days it stinks to be a woman hanging around the Avengers.  Really the perks of seeing Steve post-work out, or getting the newest toys from Tony is heavily outweighed by the explosions and monsters and death...and that's just Clint before coffee.  But Darcy has a plan, a wonderfully awful plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darcy's Coffee Klatch

**Author's Note:**

> So, not intentionally inspired by the artwork found here-> http://vylla-art.tumblr.com/post/30166245081/the-girls-of-phase-one-alternate-title-sif-and  
> I'd actually started writting this like a week before, but then I got slow.

It wasn't that the women of the Avengers didn't get along, it's that prior to Darcy showing up they just didn't socialize; at least not en mass. But, well, Darcy needed a 'posse' and she was just inveigling enough that it seemed like a good idea the first time, then turned out to be a lot of fun. They were still fighting her on the name WAPow!*(The exclamation point was mandatory she informed them). And like all things surrounding Darcy, it had started off innocently enough.

 

About a month after Darcy and Jane were summarily moved to New York, had Thor not shown back up a few days after the NYC fight they never would have convinced Jane to leave New Mexico, the younger brunette was bored. Only Clint and Jane knew how bad a thing this was. Coulson might have told someone, but he was still laid up in medical. So when Darcy popped into the labs, earlier than her normal lunch run,(All those scientists wouldn't eat if she didn't feed them) but later than the first coffee run,(she was a goddess to all) Jane figured it had finally come to a head.

 

“So, tonight, six o’clock, done or not boss-lady you’re leaving the lab.” Settling her hip on the table she pointed one french-tipped nail at Jane. “I have permission from tall, golden, and godly that I may kidnap you for drinks.” At a sound from Tony, Darcy snorted, “You are not invited Stark, this is a girl’s night. Same to you Bruce,” the disheveled man looked up from his work confused. Darcy wanted to do unspeakable things to him when he gave her that look. “Groveling will not help you, either of you.” Looking back at Jane, pleased to see that there was at least recognition in her eyes rather than the glaze of 'SCIENCE!' “Six. I will come forcibly remove you if I have too.” Moving away from the desk she sauntered back out of the lab.

 

“No,” Jane turned her attention back to the data she'd been correlating, Tony's scowl deepened. “I don't know what she's up too, but you're not invited, she said so herself.” It took a few minutes, but they all finally resumed working. Thank goodness for the draw of data, tests and SCIENCE.

 

~*~*~*

 

A shadowy figure filled the screen on the helicarrier, Fury was not amused. “Ms. Lewis, I don't know what the fuck you think you're doing, but this is a god damn secured channel for a reason.”

 

“Aw, but I even practiced my Deep Throat impression,” Darcy flashed him a bright smile, which was a talent since the whole room barely had enough light to see her outline. “Put Hill on, she doesn't answer her phone at work, and this was the easiest way to reach her.”

 

“I am not a mother-fucking call center, get off this line right now or I will throw your ass in the deepest hole I can find, no matter who you know or who you're related too.” His hands were now braced on the ledge, his scowling face mere inches form the monitor.

 

“Yeesh, someone needs to cut back on your latte quotient.” She turned on a light and gave him her best doe eyes. “Be a sweetie Colonel, it'll only take a moment, promise. B'sides, you need me alive and processing paperwork while Coulson is off his feet.” It never hurt to remind the man that she actually, sorta, worked with him, as well as around him.

 

“Hill,” Fury barked and the agent's head swung up from where it was speaking to a subordinate. “You apparently have a call.” He waved a hand expressively towards the screen. Her brows furrowed as she moved up to the command post and looked down.

 

“Darcy?” she was flummoxed. “What do you want?”

 

“I need you to meet with me tonight at 1830 hours at The Wharf, I've got a couple contacts coming in, and I don't trust them to Sitwell.” She doodled out the address and held it up, Maria thought the little hearts and...was that a narwhal?...were a bit much. But since she'd mentioned the need to get the latest information on Doom's projects she was open for any and all sources.

 

“Fine, I'm assuming I’ll need civies to meet with them?” She mentally rearranged her evening, well sparing with Natasha and a solitary dinner weren't hard to move around.

 

“Yes, please! I'll meet you there! Tell Captain Kangaroo he can have his spy network back now,” she wiggled her fingers before cutting off the transmission. Maria had to bite back a smile; she was certain Fury, who was standing only a few feet away, had heard that last part.

 

“Sir,” she tried to give him a deadpan look, but from his glower she figured at least some of the amusement showed in her eyes.

 

~*~*~*~*

 

“Ms. Potts, I have a Miss Lewis to see you,” Pepper's very efficient secretary sounded amused. “She threatened to steal my headset if I tried to tell her you were too busy. But since she's on the short list, yes Miss Lewis, there is a list,” Pepper could hear Darcy say something, but the words were indistinguishable.

 

“Of course Emily, send her in.” Pepper had a meeting in forty-five minutes, but whatever Darcy wanted shouldn't take that long. The tall, dark, glass doors to her office opened and Darcy strolled in. She was dressed for her job at SHIELD, so the navy pencil skirt and dark blouse looked sever when compared with Peppers' own Kelly green suit. Pepper completely approved of her shoes, a set of lipstick red heels with a terrifyingly thin silver heel. Her own yellow Jimmy Choo's were set with a similar one. “What can I do for you Darcy?” She asked as the younger woman fidgeted, obviously torn between seating herself in one of the client chairs or standing at attention like a child in the principal’s office.

 

“Well, I know you're all 'serious business woman' and running Tony's mighty empire, but I sorta used his access to sneak a peek at your schedule and saw you were in town tonight; no major functions to speak of, or anything. So, I was hoping I could talk you into going out for a drink with me? We never really get to talk, at least not without Tony around.” This was a bit of an understatement. When Tony was around everyone listened because he talked enough for the whole group.

 

Pepper saw the anxiety in Darcy's eyes and figure the poor girl was probably in desperate need to talk to someone that understood everything that was happening. It was a lot of drama, but she could spare a night to help set her on her feet, as it were. “Of course, did you have a place in mind?”

 

“Yeah, but as Happy volunteered to drive us you can just meet me in the lobby at six, okay?” Darcy looked relieved, and Pepper smiled, glad she could ease a bit of the tension. And a few drinks would probably help her day end well, so it was win-win.

 

“Okay, I'll see you then,” Darcy cast one last look at Pepper, one she couldn’t interpret, and moved back through the doors. Pepper heard her say something to Emily as she left. A moment later the intercom beeped and her secretary’s voice was amused.

 

“Miss Lewis asked me to remind you about the drinks tonight, I think she mistook you for Mr. Stark for a minute.”

 

“No, she is just worried I'll back out, I think; that is a very troubled girl.” Pepper pulled up the latest round of stock information and started pouring over it. The non-committal sound from Emily barely registered.

 

~*~*~*~*

 

A light tap on the door to the private room lifted Sophie's head from the book she was reading. Placing a length of lace to mark it she rose and crossed quietly to the door. Cracking it open she saw Darcy and smiled. Placing a finger to her lips she slipped from the room after one last look to make sure that Philip Eugene was resting peacefully. Nudging over a door stop she kept the door cracked so she could hear if he woke up. She kept her voice quiet. “Hello Darcy Georgiana, if you've come to visit I'm afraid he's sleeping. The new pain killers take him right out.” She led them over to a set of chairs and seated herself.

 

“I'll come back later to visit Phil, and I have a few things I need him to sign as well. Maybe you could text me...uhm...” Darcy grinned sheepishly. Sophie's phone was work related only, and even that was under duress. “Have a nurse give me a call when he comes up for air. But, actually, I was stopping by to see if I could steal you away for a bit tonight? You've not had a night away from here since he...since Loki. He's stable, I asked the doctors when I came in, so you can afford to take a night off just to relax.” She recognized the steely look in Sophie’s eyes and lifted a brow. “I'll make him send you out if you don't agree on your own. You need a break, and a couple of drinks with me won't kill you.”

 

Giving the girl and exasperated look Sophie relented, “Fine, but only if it's close. They have my number should something go wrong, and I don’t want to have to work my way back from Queens or something if it's an emergency.”

 

“Of course not, I found a nice place that's only two blocks away. If you want I can have Happy pick you up; he's volunteered to drive tonight since, well, the rumors of my bad choices are legendary.” Taking Sophie's hand she gave it a fast squeeze. “Really, you are a trooper, you deserve this, and it’ll make him happy.”

 

Sophie's head swiveled towards the room and Darcy could only guess that Coulson had shifted, or sighed, or something, because she was instantly alert and back on her feet. “You've already won my dear, I'll go. I'll call you when I feel he's awake enough for visitors.” She moved swiftly back to the room, kicked aside the block of plastic and closed the door to the hall.

 

“Okay, well, onto the last of them then.” Darcy fist pumped and stood up, smoothing her skirt down. Damn she was good.

 

~*~*~*~*

 

“Why do I do this to myself,” Darcy groaned as she picked herself up off the mat and spit out her mouth guard. Licking the roof of her mouth she groaned again, mostly to watch Natasha's smile do that weird twitch thing. She apparently liked the sound of people in pain, and that was twisted... Darcy could totally live with it. Fumbling with the gloves she staggered over to a bench and freed her hands. She had self-defense classes with Natasha five days a week at five...Darcy now hated the number five. At least she was getting better, wasn't she? “Aren't I?” she asked out loud.

 

“Getting better? Sure, though you still rely too much on your arms. Monday we'll work on some ground work. Get you to use your feet more.” The redhead barely looked like she'd moved, let alone wiped the floor with Darcy for the last thirty five minutes. But Darcy could forgive her. “And if you do well on the ground work I'll talk Fury into letting you back onto the range to work with Barton. But,” she leveled one of her 'I can maim you in ways I will enjoy' looks at Darcy. “You and Clint can NOT 'use what you learn' to pick off people from the ventilation system again. I'm serious. Fury has mined half of them now, and I don't think Baron will survive finding them all.”

 

“I solemnly sear that I will only use my forces for good, but, in turn you have to come drinking with me tonight!” Darcy fumbled and grabbed her water bottle, nearly drowned herself with it. Sputtering she wiped ineffectively at her face. Thank god she had time for a shower. “B'sides, you totally owe me for not cutting off parts of Clint over that phone call**. I was tempted, and thanks to you I would have a fifty-fifty chance of at least nicking him now.” They both moved towards the showers, though Darcy sort of tottered and Natasha looked like she moved on wheels.

 

“I already planned to join you on your little 'girls night' Darcy,” Natasha grinned. This prompted Darcy to run into the wall hard enough to knock her back onto her butt. Laughing Natasha offered her a hand up, “What, you thought you could do all that and I'd not notice? Please, maybe after your ground work we'll work on your stealth, in particular that as it pertains to corporate espionage.” A look passed over her face, “Actually, that's a good idea. We'll work on that next month.” She hefted Darcy up and led her through the door. “Go, get showered, I'll meet you at the limo in fifteen.”

 

Darcy watched the assassin head off to another area, probably to report to Fury or something spy-like. When Darcy grew up she wanted to be just like her. For now it was time to get ready for the rest of the night. And a hot shower was the first step towards not feeling all those bruises she'd just gotten. The next thirty steps involved shots; lots of shots.

 

~*~*~*~*

 

The next morning Darcy and Jane both staggered into the kitchen, their skin stretched taunt over their bones. Steve, recognizing the signs of a hangover thanks to Tony, quickly brought them both cups of coffee. Darcy, for once, didn't pat his butt as he moved away, and thanked him with a croak. She was just starting to thank all the powers that be that Tony always slept in when the self-same person strolled jauntily though the door. Dropping her head to the table with a clunk she whimpered and heard a commiserating noise come from Jane.

 

“Guess girl’s night was a bit too much for you Darcy, should have let us 'professionals' tag along,” Tony scored his own coffee and made a production of pulling his chair out as quietly as he could. As he sat Natasha entered and walked past the table. Giving Jane's shoulder a squeeze she grinned and patted Darcy on the head as she went about making her normal breakfast.

 

“Stark, you would have been in worse shape than her,” the red head noted as she selected a bowl. “Darcy kept up with me on shots, and only fell behind trying to match Jane, Sophie, Maria and Pepper as well. I'm fairly certain her liver is immortal.” Mixing a vile concoction of granola, yogurt and nuttella together she placed the bowl beside Darcy and wedged a spoon into her hand. “Eat, it'll help.”

 

The hand on the spoon tightened and Natasha was pretty sure Darcy had just threatened her with the cutlery. Giving her a grin she patted her head, “You aren't good enough for that, but give it time, we'll get you there.”

 

“Are...you...she...” Tony was nonplussed. He knew that Darcy and Natasha got on like a house on fire, but if he'd heard correctly all the various Avengers' ladies had gone out...together...last night. And apparently Darcy had inherited his liver; even he had trouble staying on par with Natasha. He wasn't sure if he should be terrified or desperately proud.

 

Natasha mixed up her own breakfast and sat down near Steve, she only laughed as Darcy blindly pushed the bowl to Jane and handed her the spoon. The astrophysicist dug into it with grim determination; and it was only then that it was noticed that Thor hadn't followed the two ladies up from their floor. Steve, mindful of their heads, asked quietly, “Is Thor still sleeping?” This would be odd since the god tended to be up with the sun.

 

“Thor is in time out,” Jane muttered, her mouth rimmed with the mixture from her bowl “When we got home he decided to 'add' to the celebration and gave us both some of the Asgardian Ale he keeps on hand. It tasted delicious, but triggered some very not pretty results. Apparently the 'liquor before beer' rule isn't true to that stuff.”

 

“I don' like him any more,” came Darcy's muffled response. Jane made a serious face and nodded along with her. “Gonna be at least a month before I let him go with me when I go shopping. No pop-tarts for him.”

 

“That seems a bit harsh,” Steve looked very amused. “I mean, at least he's not booming at you this morning, which has to count for something?”

 

Both women leveled glares at him; he was impressed he had said something that would get Darcy to lift her head. “He felt the need to wake us both up at dawn, informing us that a 'brisk' run would help settle our stomachs.” Jane, whom was blindly in love with the man, sounded like he was the deadest of ducks now. To prevent Darcy from replanting her head on the table Jane pushed the bowl, now half empty, under her face and handed her back the spoon. “It does help, a little.” Getting to her feet Jane staggered off, “I'm going to the lab before the rest of the goons get there, I won't have to Hulk out on them that way. Don't let Darcy die or anything Natasha.” Three of the people at the table watched as she slowly made her way across the kitchen and off to the elevator.

 

As soon as they heard the elevator doors close they swiveled back to Darcy, who had consumed the rest of the food while they were distracted. Looking a bit more human she got up and poured herself a second cup of coffee and placed the bowl in the sink. “So, whom all was out drinking with you last night?” Steve asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

 

Ticking off names on her fingers, “Jane, me, Natasha, Maria, Sophie, Pepper...I tried to get Betty, but she's apparently in Peru right now. And Sif was off with the warriors three, so rain checked me. By the way, explaining that sentence took some effort. Oh, and one of Sophie's friends showed up...uhm...El...El...uh, Burk I think? Nice lady, can hold her whiskey.” Returning to the table she sat down a bit straighter in her chair. Giving Natasha a belated smile she sighed. “It was awesome, and I don't care what they say, I'm so calling us WAPow! It’s perfect. Which reminds me, so, not taking everyone drinking again for at least a week...can we invade your favorite tea parlor Natasha? Tuesday? I think I sorta might have already told the others I was doing it.” Her brows contracted behind her glasses and she scrunched up her nose. “Or I set up Maria and El on a date, but that seems weird since I recall she said she was married.” Shaking her head slowly she looked up and met the very blank look Steve was giving her.

 

“Oh don't worry Cap, we won't get too wild and crazy without you guys,” She wanted to give Tony a smug look, but her head was still swimming so she opted for a sharp nod, then immediately regretted the action. “And on that note, I'm going to go crawl into a bottle of aspirin and never come out.” Standing she put away her mug and muttered to herself, or maybe JARVIS, on her way out. “Seriously, no more Asgardian ale, ever.”

 

This time, when the elevator closed, the three had wide grins on their faces, each for different reasons. The two men turned to look at Natasha, whom had a great poker face. “No,” she said emphatically. “I will not tell you what we talked about, or even give you hints. Deal with it.”

**Author's Note:**

> *Women of the Avengers Power! for those that don't know  
> ** Read Who Could be Calling Me? over on Doom-Princess' page -> http://archiveofourown.org/works/494298


End file.
